Try to stay calm. Take a deep breath. For today, March 9th, is Panic Day. Can you handle today? Awesome, I was worried for a moment.
Hopefully, everything is going swimmingly in your life, and you have no need for this day. But, if problems and troubles are looming, try to hold off hitting the panic button until this day arrives.
Don't worry. Don't fret. and, above all, don't panic. However, if ever there was a day to panic, today is that day.
I vote that you don't get out of bed. Or...if you're reading this you might alright be out of bed (unless you have a laptop...). In that case, grab some food, a good book or movie, and get back in bed and pull the covers over your head! Another option would be to grab a towel and run around screaming and panicking. *nods*
Anyway, part of this post might be a little bit ironic, but I love irony so it's all good!
Let me explain...
Recently I read "The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy" (Note: It was an ok book. It was funny in spots, kinda sketchy in spots, and really boring in spots. I may or may not recommend it.) so now everytime I think of "panic" I think of that. Maybe I should explain further...Or maybe I'll skip the explanation and just add a bunch of awesome
Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy" quotes. I think I'll do that...
"It is said that depite its many glaring (and occasionally fatal inaccuracies, the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy itself has outsold the Encyclopedia Galactica because it is slightly cheaper, and because it has the words "Don't Panic" in large, friendly letters on the cover." (This is why "panic" reminds me of Hitchikers Guide.)
The Book: What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue: Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your present circumstances seems more likely, consider yourself lucky that it won't be troubling you much longer.
Hopefully, everything is going swimmingly in your life, and you have no need for this day. But, if problems and troubles are looming, try to hold off hitting the panic button until this day arrives.
Don't worry. Don't fret. and, above all, don't panic. However, if ever there was a day to panic, today is that day.
I vote that you don't get out of bed. Or...if you're reading this you might alright be out of bed (unless you have a laptop...). In that case, grab some food, a good book or movie, and get back in bed and pull the covers over your head! Another option would be to grab a towel and run around screaming and panicking. *nods*
Anyway, part of this post might be a little bit ironic, but I love irony so it's all good!
Let me explain...
Recently I read "The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy" (Note: It was an ok book. It was funny in spots, kinda sketchy in spots, and really boring in spots. I may or may not recommend it.) so now everytime I think of "panic" I think of that. Maybe I should explain further...Or maybe I'll skip the explanation and just add a bunch of awesome
Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy" quotes. I think I'll do that...
"It is said that depite its many glaring (and occasionally fatal inaccuracies, the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy itself has outsold the Encyclopedia Galactica because it is slightly cheaper, and because it has the words "Don't Panic" in large, friendly letters on the cover." (This is why "panic" reminds me of Hitchikers Guide.)
"The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.
A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to- hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with."
Ford: That's awkward.A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to- hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with."
The Book: What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue: Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your present circumstances seems more likely, consider yourself lucky that it won't be troubling you much longer.
"If I ever meet myself I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me."
One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans eas their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in "It's a nice day", or "You're very tall" or "Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?"
"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer."
"Listen, three eyes, don't you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal."
Ok. I'll stop now. I think that's enough. If you actually read this far...kudos. You're awesome.
So, people of earth or the surrounding areas, don't panic. Unless it's March 9th, then you may panic all you'd like. =)
~The end~ (The squiggleys weren't really necessary. I just like them.)
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