I'm not entirely sure why I'm going to write this. I doubt anyone will read it. I doubt anyone will care. I doubt that it will even make sense. Maybe I just want a way to get all the random, jumbled thoughts out of my head. This is probably just going to be one of those quotidian (I just found this word and I wanted to use it. I'm pretty sure I used it right. If not, then whatever.) end-of-school posts. You know, the ones that people read and think "I really don't care about that". But, I already mentioned that probably no one will care.
I'm not even sure where to start this. That seems to be the habit of my blog posts. I never know where to start. Ever. I guess that's ok. This seems to be an ok start I suppose.
It's over. School is done. I've finished a bazillion years of school. One would think I would be happy about this considering I hated it a lot. Oddly, I'm not.
It's a strange thing really. I've been in a funk for a couple of weeks. I've felt sad and out of sorts. I'll wake up in the morning and not be entirely sure what's going on or what I'm supposed to be doing. I've only started to figure it out in the last couple of days. I've been in school for a lot of years and suddenly it's over. For the past couple of months I've had something of a routine and now that the classes have ended that's gone. When I'm doing something like using my laptop or reading I feel like I NEED to be doing something, but there's really nothing I need to get done. I'll think "I should get homework done" but, there is none. It's really, really weird. I'm kind of sad.
I really don't know what to do. I've been thinking about this for a couple hours. Today was my graduation party. That was fun. People hugged me and shook my hand (which was weird...I'm not a hand shaker really.). Of course I got the "What are your plans?" "What are you doing in the fall?" And I just tell them "Work I guess" Or "No, I'm not going to college" and they look at me like "Are you insane? You HAVE to! What are you going to do with your life?" I just shrug mostly or something. What people don't know (mostly because I don't want to tell them) is that I sort of have a plan. A plan that most wouldn't approve of. Which is part of why I don't tell them and because it really isn't any of their business. Maybe I'll go to college eventually. I don't know. I don't know anything really.
I realize that this is probably going to be a long post, but I don't exactly care. I'm just rambling. I don't think anyone reads this anyway. Maybe I won't even post this. I probably will though. I'm just that kind of person.
People gave me things today. I feel kind of weird about that. I didn't do anything to deserve it. It's weird being given money without working for it when it's not Christmas or your birthday. I appreciate it. I'm thankful. I really am. I just feel slightly guilty about it. I have half a mind to give it back. (But only half.)
Tonight was pretty fun. I have the two best friends ever. They're the most awesome people I know. They've both been such a blessing to me and I'm so lucky to have them. I love them to death.
We have pretty great adventures. Like tonight for instance...we got lost. (Apparently, I'm really bad at directions...) We ended up in a really sketchy place but, we had awesome music so it was pretty ok. We didn't die either which is always a plus.
I think I'm done with this now. This is probably dumb, but I'm going to post it anyway I think.
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