Irrelephant (adjective) - Anything that is unrelated to elephants.

Recently, I was "dearblankpleaseblank.com" and I saw the link for "grouchyrabbit.com". I stupidly clicked on it to see what it was. I have now wasted many hours on said website. It's probably my favorite website now. Here's why:

Tips For Success
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If the cops are flashing their lights at you, they want to see just how fast you can really drive. Impress them.

To make sure no boys will ever write poems about your daughter, name her Orange.

Make your dying words, "I hid it in South America."

Before you insult someone, always walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you insult them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

While driving, slam on your brakes unnecessarily and as often as possible in order to keep everyone around you alert and paranoid.

Facts
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Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live the longest.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If facebook ever shut down you would see people roaming the streets shoving pictures in peoples faces screaming "Do you like this?! DO YOU?!"

If at first you don't succeed, sky-diving is not for you.

You will inevitably make a grammar mistake while pointing out someone else's grammar mistake.

Signs Things Aren't going so well
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There is a 3D movie about Justin Bieber.

You have 6 fingers on your right hand. You just met a man named Inigo Montoya.

Your toys make three Disney movies behind your back.

Rebecca Black is deciding what seat to take in your car...

Your new friends just dared you to touch the butt.

Realized
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Anyone who says words don't hurt you, has clearly never been hit by a dictionary.

Expecting the unexpected makes the unexpected expected. 

Rain is God's way of giving hobos a shower.

Bruno Mars is the kind of guy you get a restraining order against.

There are braille letters on the drive-up ATM.  
                
To Do List
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Change Facebook name to "No One." Like people's statuses...

Find a Sicilian. Challenge him to a battle of wits involving iocaine powder, wine, and a pretty lady.

Live forever. So far, so good.

Find a tree where elves make cookies. Rob it.

Place an empty guitar rack in a public space with a sign that reads, "Free air guitars!"

Definition (I was limiting myself to five posts per category but this was by far the best so I broke down and posted more. Sorry.)
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Single (adjective) - A man who makes jokes about women in the kitchen.

Shin (noun) - A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Sarcasm (noun) - The brain's natural defense against the less intelligent.

Dyslexic agnostic insomniac (noun) - Someone who stays up late at night wondering if there is a dog.

Gullible (adjective) - A commonly used word that is not found in the dictionary.

Junk (noun) - Something you keep for years and then throw away one week before you need it.

Cookies (noun) - The dough that actually made it into the oven instead of my mouth.

Mosquito (noun) - Mother Nature's way of getting you to slap yourself.

Cupcake (noun) - A gay muffin

Based on the bestselling novel (phrase) - If you read the book you will probably hate the movie, but we know you're going to watch it anyway.
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You may now thank me for wasting your time. =)