The one where I go on about song lyrics

Wow, it's been way over a year since I've been here. I guess I'll brush the cobwebs off so I can actually write something...They'll probably just come back though because I've lost my ability to be interesting. I'm not awesome anymore. *sadface*

The reason I'm here is this: Sometimes I find myself listening to a series of songs and I just keep hearing lyrics that I love, my sense in my life, and I just want to share them. Generally though, sharing multiple statuses on Facebook in a short period of time is frowned upon. That's what Twitter is for. Seeing as I don't have that and I don't even know how it works, I decided to come back here and write them all out. The end.

Trying>Lifehouse

"Could you let down your hair

Be transparent for awhile, just a little while

To see if you're human after all

Honesty is a hard attribute to find

When we all want to seem like

We've got it all figured out"

Broken>Lifehouse

"I am here still waiting, though I still have my doubts

I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out"

"I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead"

Storm>Lifehouse

"How long have I been in this storm

So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form

Water's getting harder to tread

With these waves crashing over my head"

"I know you didn't bring me out here to drown

So why am I ten feet under and upside down

Barely surviving has become my purpose

Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface"

Disarray>Lifehouse

"Struggling between the facts and fiction

I'm alone, but I'm alive

Everyone around me is trying to make a statement

Then there's me

I'm just trying to survive"

"If this was any other day

I'd pretend to know where I stand

I just don't know"

Yes, I know that's all Lifehouse. That's ok though because they're awesome. End of story.

Literal Randomings

I'm not entirely sure why I'm going to write this. I doubt anyone will read it. I doubt anyone will care. I doubt that it will even make sense. Maybe I just want a way to get all the random, jumbled thoughts out of my head. This is probably just going to be one of those quotidian (I just found this word and I wanted to use it. I'm pretty sure I used it right. If not, then whatever.) end-of-school posts. You know, the ones that people read and think "I really don't care about that". But, I already mentioned that probably no one will care.


I'm not even sure where to start this. That seems to be the habit of my blog posts. I never know where to start. Ever. I guess that's ok. This seems to be an ok start I suppose. 


It's over. School is done. I've finished a bazillion years of school. One would think I would be happy about this considering I hated it a lot. Oddly, I'm not. 


It's a strange thing really. I've been in a funk for a couple of weeks. I've felt sad and out of sorts. I'll wake up in the morning and not be entirely sure what's going on or what I'm supposed to be doing. I've only started to figure it out in the last couple of days. I've been in school for a lot of years and suddenly it's over. For the past couple of months I've had something of a routine and now that the classes have ended that's gone. When I'm doing something like using my laptop or reading I feel like I NEED to be doing something, but there's really nothing I need to get done. I'll think "I should get homework done" but, there is none. It's really, really weird. I'm kind of sad. 


I really don't know what to do. I've been thinking about this for a couple hours. Today was my graduation party. That was fun. People hugged me and shook my hand (which was weird...I'm not a hand shaker really.). Of course I got the "What are your plans?" "What are you doing in the fall?" And I just tell them "Work I guess" Or "No, I'm not going to college" and they look at me like "Are you insane? You HAVE to! What are you going to do with your life?" I just shrug mostly or something. What people don't know (mostly because I don't want to tell them) is that I sort of have a plan. A plan that most wouldn't approve of. Which is part of why I don't tell them and because it really isn't any of their business. Maybe I'll go to college eventually. I don't know. I don't know anything really.


I realize that this is probably going to be a long post, but I don't exactly care. I'm just rambling. I don't think anyone reads this anyway. Maybe I won't even post this. I probably will though. I'm just that kind of person. 


People gave me things today. I feel kind of weird about that. I didn't do anything to deserve it. It's weird being given money without working for it when it's not Christmas or your birthday. I appreciate it. I'm thankful. I really am. I just feel slightly guilty about it. I have half a mind to give it back. (But only half.) 


Tonight was pretty fun. I have the two best friends ever. They're the most awesome people I know. They've both been such a blessing to me and I'm so lucky to have them. I love them to death.
We have pretty great adventures. Like tonight for instance...we got lost. (Apparently, I'm really bad at directions...) We ended up in a really sketchy place but, we had awesome music so it was pretty ok. We didn't die either which is always a plus.


I think I'm done with this now. This is probably dumb, but I'm going to post it anyway I think.

Odd Jobs

There I was just sitting there playing a mindless game of Tetris when suddenly I had an idea for a blog post! *plays victory music* 

After I decided I was going to write a blog post I had to figure out how to get here. *coughs* It wasn't saved in my book marks anymore and um...I wasn't entirely sure what my password was or what email it was under. Don't worry, I figured it out. 

So, here's the idea I had for my blog post. As you can see, I entitle it "Odd Jobs".

Throughout their lives everyone has jobs they want to do. I'm no different. I could give you a list of things I've wanted to be. Obviously most of them seem really dumb to me now. But. there have been a couple that I think I'll always want to do. And they are:

1. Grocery bagger.

(Yeah, I know. I have super high aspirations. Because not just ANY 14 year old can do that.) I recently got a job at a grocery store. I get to bag groceries every time I work. Honestly, I'm not sure anyone really understands how incredibly happy this makes me. Oh, and I get to wear an APRON. Dude. AN. APRON. *bounces* I love it. 

2. Someone who shoots off fireworks

Now, I don't mean that annoying neighbor that keeps you up half the night shooting fireworks for no apparent reason. I mean one of the people that puts together fireworks shows for Forth of July or something. That job intrigues me. It just seems fun. And dangerous....but fun all the same.

3. A bartender

This also just seems fun. Mixing random stuff together and sliding it down the bar...*sighs* That's the life. (Just kidding. It's probably not.) I was told I couldn't do this though. I understand WHY, but I'm still slightly sad about it. I suppose if I REALLY wanted to I could just go get a job at Starbucks or something like that. *shrug*

Those are the three odd jobs that I've always wanted to do. (Well, I've only wanted to be a bartender for a couple years. The others have been...a lot of years. I think I was less than 10 when I decided I wanted to be a firework shooter.) You can judge me if you want to. I don't care. 

Good day, Sir.

Here I Am

Wow, I haven't been on here since November. I forgot about the poor glob. I think its been lonely. I'm sorry, glob. I've been busy. I had a job, high school, Bible classes, and I sort of had a social life. I didn't have a whole lot of time to say anything. Not that I really had anything to say. 


Apparently, it has been over a year since I started this blog. Seriously? I could cry at the thought. (That might just be me being overly emotional. My apologies.) I really didn't think it had been this long. I'm slightly shocked.


As I said paragraph before last, life has been crazy lately. I've had so much work to do and not a lot of life to do it. I can't remember the last time I was able to read a book for fun. That saddens me. I miss reading. I really, really do. Thankfully, in some weeks (I'm thinking of it in weeks because, to me, it seems shorter. The word "months" is just so...daunting.) classes will be over and I should have a little bit more time. My goal of finishing high school by the end of the week should also help with my quest to have a little bit more time.


I don't mean to be boring. I don't actually have any philosophical thoughts or funny stories to tell. I'm boring lately. I apologize.


I guess I'll go back to studying now. I have to have this quiz done by the end of the day so I can study for a midterm *dramatic/scary music plays*. 


By the way, IT'S FREAKING GORGEOUS OUTSIDE. I'm sad that I can't be out there. *mutters about the stupid town telling people to stay off the field* Don't they know that it's my spot? Losers.

Not Today

Sometimes I have deep, philosophical thoughts. Today is not one of those times.


Early this morning (and I think one of these was yesterday morning.) in a half-awake state I'm pretty sure I named my pillow. I can't remember what I named it though. Next I thought "I really shouldn't tell Nate or Mom..." But here I am. Telling everyone.


It gets better actually. I thought that peoples dreams should have gift shops. 


...What?


I decided 5 seconds later it wasn't a good idea.


OH. And...if anyone is wondering. My pillow would have been $14.99.


I may have only worked 3 days, but I think it's affecting me.

Life

I feel like I never have anything to say. My life is boring yet it's crazy at the same time. 


I'm currently trying to finish my last year of high school. That's going really, really slowly. I just want to be done!! I also recently got a job, which is totally awesome. I kind of like it. I can't wear jeans but the people are nice enough. It'll do for now. 


My birthday is in about 8 days. Everyone is keeping secrets. It's pretty annoying. I just want to know!! Pretty much everyone I associate with is keeping a secret. My mom, my best friend, my boyfriend, even my boyfriend's family! Dang it guys, I wanna know! I'm going to continue griping for another week and then I'll be happy again. (For the record, I'm not mad at any of you people. I'm happy that you all love me enough to keep secrets or something like that.) 


Oh, oh, oh! I've been reading a book at night. It's pretty good. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that the little description of the author (what is that called?!) in the back says that he started the book after graduating high school...at 15. What an overachiever...


Look! I have a blog post! YES.

Oh.

Um, wow. It's been almost a month since I last posted. This is bad. I'm sorry.  I guess I've just been too busy to think of anything. I still don't know what I'm supposed to say. 
Seriously, I have nothing to say. Oh well. I'll think of something eventually...




Oh, I thought of something. I fell down the stairs tonight. Yeah, go me. *pumps fist in the air*